For those of you that have 'been there, done that', I need some advice.
With the baby's impending birth, I am beginning to wonder if I have done all that I can to help my toddler prepare for the change that is coming into our family. Especially since she acted aggressively towards my friends one year old yesterday while Austin and I were at the hospital.
I was shocked, and sad, to hear that Jader -without provocation- pushed a little girl. What makes it worse is that they were on the stairs, and the little one fell down five stairs. Thankfully she wasn't hurt. However, my pride as a mother feels hurt because I know that Jader understands a change is coming, and I'm not sure she is reacting well to it.
So, if any of you have any advice you can share with me to help her with the transition (which I know will take time and is not going to be an overnight success), I would really, really appreciate it.
4 comments:
I never did anything specific with my kids before another baby came along. We just talked about it alot and stuff. It all really depended on their age and personality how they handled it. My oldest (boy) was 3 when his brother came along. There was practiclly zero adustment issues. This was because of his older age and because of his easy-going personality. Boy #2 was barely 2 years old when his sister came. He is a more agressive, active child and it took a whole year for him to adjust....I'm not kidding. He even reverted to being a baby for awhile. I think now that #4 is on it's way my daughter will most definatly have some adjustment issues as well, even though she is so flipping excited! She will be 3 1/2 when the baby comes but she is our baby girl, she is a daddy's girl and it will be very hard for her to compete with attention.
I just make sure that when I have a newborn I give my other kids equal attention. Since nursing and diaper changing take so much time it seems to them that you always spend a ton of time with the baby and we have forgotten them. So I read to them or talk with them on the couch while I am nursing....I make more of an effort to draw them in....I take that 15 minutes of free time to do an activity with them....and that makes all the difference! Every child comes with challenges. Jader will do great!
Good luck Julie! Even though I don't know you in person you will be a great mom!
Julie,
For me I found that nothing really worked. When my second one came along I tried everything. We took him to a sibling maternity class, got him a doll, read him books about the whole thing, and loved him. He was 4 when the second came and we stll had a long hard month. After a month he seemed to adjust alot more every week. That month was hard and he was really naughty. When my third came along we didn't have alot of time to prep him and it took two months for him to adjust where he wasn't so naughty. Like the lady said before it all depends on age and personality. Don't worry and fret it is bad for you and your baby. Just pray, love her, and things will work out fine. You will get thru and she will to.
I know I told you about reading a story to Cole the 2 nights before Louie came home, but I forgot the other thing we did. We got him a little present to be from the baby and gave it to him all wrapped up at the hospital when he came to see Louie for the 1st time. We just told him that Louie loved him and was excited to be his brother. I'm sure Jader will be fine- she could be reacting to your stress about the ECV. Now that you're relaxing, she probably will too. Don't worry too much, Heavenly Father places each child in the family where they need to be.
Make her your helper. We had Jackson get us diapers, blankets, help with the bath and others. It worked really well, of course he was almost 4. We also gave him a gift. Right now as I type he is entertaining McKay.
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