A Lot of Good Intentions

I had intended to write a Christmas letter to go along with my family photo, but, to be honest, I felt like if I were to write a letter during that time, it wouldn't have come from a positive place.

I was saying the words, 'it's not fair', a lot. So much so, that my daughter has picked it up and is using the words in her vocabulary. I was in a lot of pain, and was really playing the 'wo is me' card. So, I didn't want to write a letter summing up the year and have it be in a negative light. I just skipped the task (something I regret now), but I knew it was the best choice at the time.

I really feel like the year 2010 was one of my most difficult years of my life. It started off fine, but then the kids were hospitalized in March, and shortly after that I found out I was pregnant with Grayson (which is one of the greatest blessings of the year),I hurt my knee and suffered with knee pain during the entire pregnancy and weight gain associated with it.

Four weeks after delivery I had the knee surgery, and two weeks after surgery at my follow-up appointment, I found out I have a blood clot in my calf. I actually suspected it about a week after surgery, and would have known by then, but we cancelled our appointment due to bad weather. So, when we were finally able to see the doctor, I told him about the pain in my calf and he ordered an ultrasound of my leg.

The US tech scanned the entire left leg, stating that they start with the groin area, move to the thigh, and then the calf. They do it in that order because it shows the level of seriousness of the clot. Meaning a clot in the groin and thigh are more serious than a clot in the calf.

They found the clot in the superficial veins of my calf, which is a good thing, because the chance of it moving (according to my doctor) is 'very highly unlikely'.

Still, I have been very anxious about this diagnosis, and I am already an anxious person. I do feel that everything is going to be fine, but I hate the fact that I have a blood clot in my calf and there is potential risk of it threatening my life.

My plan of treatment has been to take an aspirin a day. I take a 325 mg aspirin, and I have hated it so far (it has been two weeks). I am starting to feel side effects. Especially if I don't eat a ton of food when I take it. My doctor advised that I not nurse Grayson during the entire time I was taking aspirin, because of the theoretical concern linking Reye's Syndrome with aspirin. But, I just couldn't take that blanket advise from the doc. I ended up calling a dozen other professionals to get their opinions about nursing and taking such a low dose of aspirin.

The conclusion? Most of them said it would be fine to nurse, and if there was any trace of aspirin in my breast milk, it would be less than 0.1%. Still, this is my baby we're talking about, and I didn't want to do anything that might affect his health. So, I decided that I would pump and dump for eight hours after taking the medicine, and that I would nurse him as often as he wants during the other hours of the day.

So far, so good. I actually have a follow-up appointment tomorrow with my knee surgeon. I'm hoping I will get the go-ahead to stop taking aspirin, or at least be able to take a smaller dosage. We'll see!