A difficult life lesson

This week I experienced one of the hardest lessons of this mortal life. A lesson that I didn't want to learn, feel, or experience. My father-a caring, gracious, loving, hard-working, dedicated, loyal, passionate, and educated man-passed away.

This week I have felt such a range of emotions. I have had some high highs, and some very low lows.

I did quite a few things I never imagined I would have been responsible for in my life time.

One such responsibility was picking a burial plot to rest my fathers body in. This task, an unfortunate task for the living to accomplish, was not fun. I'm grateful that my brother was with me, and together we made the decision. Away from the roads, close to a tree, in an area where the rest of the family will have an option to buy a plot if so desired.

I also wrote his obituary and worked on his funeral program. How do you summarize a man's life into seven paragraphs? I didn't want to leave anything out. He deserves a novel for all of his accomplishments in this life.

It was very difficult for me to close his casket when we finished his viewing just before the funeral. At that moment, his death was so real to me that it hurt. I couldn't breathe, and felt like I was going to puke. I hated the finality of it all and realizing that I was never going to see him again after that final closure.

I also hate the idea that he was buried during the coldest time of the year. He was laid to rest in frozen ground, and I can't help but thinking how cold his body is. This idea never occurred to me until he died, and it is his body in the ground. I have attended plenty of funerals, and never before have I thought this thought. Now it is hard for me to accept it. I realize it is just his body, and his spirit has moved on, but for some reason it still really bothers me. I am also sad that each year when I want to visit him during the time that he died, it will be so cold that I will have a hard time staying and reflecting his life.

As sad as I am about his death, I am just as thankful that his death was quick and painless. You see, he had metastatic prostate cancer and was destined to a very long and painful death. Instead, the Lord blessed him, and blessed his family with a death that was quick and nearly effortless. I'm not saying it is a blessing that he has passed, but the blessing is in the manner of his passing. If it is a persons time to go, let them go quick. Let them go in peace to be with those waiting in heaven for them.

My father was a unique man and he will be dearly missed. I love you, Dad.